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While Apple ( AAPL ) has garnered the support of the tech industry and civil liberties groups for its stance on smartphone security, the issue appears to have been too complex or serious for most comedians to want to touch. Among the late-night comedians, only Seth Meyers of NBC’s “Late Night” took aim at the subject of smartphone encryption and explained why it’s important that consumers know about it. Meyers devoted a nearly seven-minute segment, called “ A Closer Look, ” of his show to examine Apple’s refusal to unlock iPhones for law enforcement officials. Of course, Meyers couldn’t resist making some jokes at Apple’s expense. “Apple is fighting back against critics and says it has no ‘sympathy for terrorists’ despite refusing FBI orders to unlock private iPhone data. In fact, Apple hates terrorists so much, it’s releasing a new U2 album just for them,” Meyers said. Meyers’ late-night rivals devoted much more time to mocking Facebook ’s ( FB ) new reaction buttons. What follows are recent jokes from America’s late-night comics on issues of science and technology. In addition to Facebook, other targets of jokes included Amazon.com ( AMZN ), eBay ( EBAY ), Fitbit ( FIT ), LinkedIn ( LNKD ), and the humanoid robot Atlas developed by Alphabet ( GOOGL )-owned Boston Dynamics. Joining Meyers in on the fun were Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, James Corden and Stephen Colbert. Conan: In addition to the “like” button, Facebook has now added buttons for “love,” “wow,” “haha,” “sad” and “angry.” In other words, Facebook copied the emotional journey of any Adele album. Kimmel: Facebook today rolled out a new thing called “Reactions.” Now instead of “liking” when a friend’s dog passes away, which is weird, you can be much more thoughtful and sensitive, posting a sad emoji with a giant tear squirting out of its face. Corden: Facebook has launched new alternatives that go beyond its trademark “like” button. Basically Facebook is doing what I tried and failed at with so many women — moving beyond just “like.” Fallon: Some crazy tech news. I saw that a company in Boston built a 5-foot-9 robot that can open doors, and can actually get back up if it’s punched. They didn’t MEAN to test whether it can get up after being punched, but well, it’s Boston. (BOSTON) “Not so tough, are ya, Terminator?” Meyers: Engineers at Boston Dynamics have unveiled a humanoid robot that can withstand getting pushed in the chest with a hockey stick without falling over. Which is definitely the most Boston way to test a robot. Conan: In France, a robot has been programmed to develop its own taste in art. The robot’s favorite paintings? Naked robots. Conan: Chase bank ATMs are getting a new feature that will allow customers to withdraw cash without using a card. The feature is called “a crowbar.” Conan: A recent study found that bottlenose dolphins sometimes murder other dolphins. However, police say it’s easy to find the culprit because dolphins love to squeal. Fallon: This is a little controversial. I saw that Oral Roberts University is now telling students that wearing Fitbits is mandatory, and logging less than 10,000 steps a day will affect their grades. So finally, some good news for students doing the walk of shame. “12,000 steps — zero regrets!” Meyers: President Obama posted on LinkedIn today about his first job — scooping ice cream. He’s the first president to post on LinkedIn — other than, of course, Abraham LinkedIn. Meyers: A recent study suggests that it’s harder to concentrate in the winter. Said researchers, “For example, this study was supposed to be about traffic accidents.” Colbert: You guys like the website Amazon.com? It’s like eBay, but the things you buy don’t arrive smelling like cigarettes. Colbert: Amazon’s always been on the cutting edge. From drone delivery, to automated warehouses, to shipping six AA batteries in a box the size of a mini fridge. Colbert: Amazon is planning to open hundreds of actual physical bookstores. That’s exciting because you don’t see those much anymore and I think this could be the start of a whole trend of online retailers going real-world. For example, Tinder could open a singles bar, where everybody walks around stating their height. Scalper1 News
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